For many other women, divorce occurred during the first 10 years of marriage, when the children were young.
Whenever it happens, its reality can be emotionally, physically, and financially painful.
To rebuild from it, anger needs to subside, you need to find humor (whatever you find), and you need to develop a renewed spirit.
In life after divorce, many women jump quickly into a new relationship or experience an identity crisis, doing things that are out of character.
But the first few months or years are an opportunity to use those experiences to prepare for what comes next. Standing still is a trap that leads to heartache.
But there is hope for life after divorce. By doing these 5 things, you can rebuild and become a better mom.
1. Take time to grieve
Broken dreams, broken vows, and a fresh start can feel hopeless. Repressing these feelings and not feeling them can cause further damage. Divorce can come with all the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. So find someone you trust and share these emotions with them. That could be a pastor, a counselor, a wise friend, or a small group of people. Ignoring your grief can lead to stress and emotional instability, and your child needs you to be emotionally healthy.
2. Recover your personal identity
Figure out who you are and the things that make your life better. It is important to learn to respect yourself and feel worthy again. Hone the character traits and abilities you possess that lead to positive outcomes and avoid repeating patterns that hurt you. This allows us to better understand what we want in our next relationship. Most importantly, learn to pray with sincerity and purpose. God never left you and never will.
3. Build a network of friends
Life after divorce doesn’t have to be lonely. Divorce will cause friction in some of your friendships, but accept it gracefully and maintain relationships with those friends who reach out to you. Make an effort to make new friends who will help you maintain a positive and growth mindset, rather than those who will bring you down with negativity. You should expect to have an active and enjoyable social life, but create it very carefully.
4. Financial planning
Accumulating a large amount of debt will make your life miserable during the transition. Even with child support, being reduced to one income would force a serious restructuring. Bitterness just hurts the whole family — especially your kids. They will feel like a burden, which is the last thing they need to feel. It will be painful, but with tough decisions and necessary cuts.
5. Set goals and create a bucket list
Starting over requires deciding what is most important to you. Set daily, weekly, and yearly goals, perhaps to become a better version of yourself, or to be a more committed, wiser parent. Be a woman who is prepared for the best chance of happiness and success. Make a bucket list of what you want to do in your new life. Try new things.
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